THANK YOU

To: Knife-Blackness Hand
re: Assassin.
Thank you for the lovely assassin. He was very surprising and managed to jump me in the produce section. Very spontaneous! I loved it. XXOXX

Dear Silver Sun Syndicate
I wanted to thank you for the most recent assassination attempt. She was very cute and good natured, I had a wonderful time. Very skilled with throwing daggers! Went to casino and left almost the entire room in shambles. Very good upper body strength, too!

To Shadow Demon Mafia
Most recent assassin was very nice. Very strong sniper rifle, possibly anti-tank? A good choice! Can't wait to see what's next! Keep up the good work!

To: AI teh_CUBE3K
re: Assassination
I wanted to thank you for the terror-doll you sent to my private airplane island. It managed to destroy seven of my robot guardians before I was able to identify it as the culprit and burn it in the incinerator while I shrieked in pain due to broken limbs and damage to my face. Tore up one of my favorite shirts with its knife, and managed to kill supporting male friend who died in noble, masculine sacrifice. Two thumbs up!

Dear Black Star Crew
VERY dissapointed with last assassin. Poison in my wine was very old hat. Not like Silver Sun Syndicate old-school with class, but killing my maid and dressing in her clothes did not look right on your assassin, who was a fifty year old man. Please try better next time. Perhaps mind control gun? Looked at RottenOmertas, noticed you had 37% metarating. I am available for consultation.

Dear Sky-Touching Nightravens
Thank you very much for last assassination attempt! Assassin was very classy, attacked me on board an airship with henchmen, which I fought one-on-one, hand to hand. Struck up witty banter and had excellent clothing. Gold plated luger was exceptionally well-shined. I thumbed you on RottenOmertas, can't wait for next attempt!

To Nightmare Syndicate
Wanted to thank you for contract killer in plaid suit. Had a very 1970s vibe and hijacked my facility PA system to play disco while he hunted me through blackened corridors with straight razor. Managed to drive male support character right into my arms. A+, would be hunted again.

Getting Ready for Saturday Tabletops

A MYSTERY

WHO IS THIS STRANGE BEING THAT THREATENS

WHAT POWERS DOES IT POSSESS

What Keeps me Busy

The world of Ten-Ghost, Sky Crossing, and Spider People! See those continents in the northwest section of the map? That's where those books all take place. This thing is huge, by the way. Warning.

I will also be signing copies of Ten-Ghost at Half Off books in Orange City, FL on March 16th from noon to three. I'm all excited. Also a little bit freaking out. Should be ok, though. It's a nice store, has that old-school library feel to it.

We Learned Many Things That Night.

We learned Narla was a compulsive gift-giver when drunk. We also learned not to take those gifts. And also to track down anyone who had them, steal them back, lock them in lead boxes, wrap them in chains, and throw them into the Miskatonic River.

Spelljammer

I have this serious love/hate thing with Spelljammer. Spelljammer's cover is all like "hey guess what all of Kepler's first ideas were correct and phlogiston theory is real fuck yes get ready for 15th Century voyages on the high seas only in space and prep your buckles for swashing only there are DWAAAVES" And then you open it up and read it and what you get is an elf in a Guyver suit trying to buy a pair of bongos off a penguin riding a flying pig down at the beholder bar. Which is okay, I guess. Had the cover said "get ready for wacky Baron Munchausen in space adventures," it'd be easier to swallow. Also hate tinker gnomes for whom every gadget fails. How the hell did they get into space in the first place?

Magic vs SCIENCE

Dear Urban Fantasy: Science is not a force. It is a process by which we test and decipher the laws of the universe. If magic existed, the process of science would have uncovered and named it by now. Magic and science cannot be opposed anymore than you can "oppose" the idea of the assembly line with a rock. I buy that magic might futz with technology the same way you can use that rock to smash a factory, but if that were the case, that if there were some universal force that fucked with everything that had more than three moving parts in it on a regular basis, we'd damn well know where the problems were coming from by now (this is conveniently ignoring the fact that we would have already been calling it something else entirely by now and have incorporated it into systems and, since any system or tool designed to solve problems is "technology," we'd be calling it "technology." Not "manatech" or "magitech" or anything like that. Just "technology." A spell is a type of technology just the same as a hammer or a battery is. Deal with it.). I know, you're trying to present us with a good old "man vs nature" conflict by having magic represent nature and science and technology represent man, but, seriously, there are better and more sensible metaphors you can choose. Like sticking a man in the woods. Actually, that might be fun. Stick a wizard in the woods without his magic and see what the fuck happens to him. I guarantee you it will be the same thing that happens if you put just about anyone else in the woods and take their pocketknife. Thank you.